The Moo Moo Song
Sections:
Lyrics
My friends call me "the lonely boy"
But it wasn't always so
My angel baby left my world
Not very long ago
So listen to my story,
A tragic episode
'Cause Betty was my steady
'Til that night on Riverdale road
Well we were on our way to the junior prom
Took a little drive past the Buttermilk Farm
There were sheep in the meadow, there were cows in the corn
There was something in the road, so I blew my horn
But the thing stood still like a stick in the mud
It was a big black cow just a-chewin' the cud
Betty told me something that I never would have known
If it wasn't for the cow in the middle of the road
Moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo, moo moo moo mow mow
Moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo, moo moo moo mow mow
Well I gritted my teeth and I tried to look tough
Moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo, moo moo moo mow mow
And I slammed my brakes, but it wasn't soon enough
Moo moo moo moo, moo moo moo, moo moo moo mow mow
Betty closed her eyes, and I started to scream
And the cow got turned into whipped cream
I put the car in reverse and we squealed to a stop,
But Betty flew through the convertible top
I found out what I never would have known
If it wasn't for the cow in the middle of the road
I found my Betty lying still
In the ditch beside my car
I prayed to God don't let her die
Our love has come too far
I whispered, "Say something Betty"
And she opened her eyes so blue
To tell me those three simple words
"Johnny, take me home"
She said, "Now look what you done to my brand new clothes!"
Then she broke my heart and she broke my nose
She kicked in the door of my '57 Dodge
And she made me eat her pretty corsage
I learned my lesson on that night so blue:
Never date a girl who is tougher than you
I found out what I never would have known
If it wasn't for the cow in the middle of the road
No, Betty was not the girl for me
That cow gave its life to set me free
Yes, the cow turned out to be my best friend
I'll never eat a burger again
I found out what I never would have known
If it wasn't for the cow in the middle of the road
Recorded Appearances
Compilations
- Jeremiah People: The Reunion (1982)
About The Song
From Now The Truth Can Be Told Liner Notes & Song-By-Song Essays, Now The Truth Can Be Told Insert Booklet, August 23rd, 1994:
Now the truth can be told? Well, not entirely. You see, my original idea was to include anything and everything from the vaults prior to my label debut. A great idea, until I actually had to sit down and listen to the archives. As Sparrow V.P. Peter York will testify, with each new audio trip down memory lane, I broke out in a fresh sweat. No amount of royalty subsidies could possibly make up for the sure-to-follow embarrassment, and Sparrow graciously concurred in allowing me to keep some shred of dignity by re-vaulting all the offending evidence. For the handful of you who own any Nth-generation copies of timeless classics like "The Moo Moo Song," I can assure you that God will extract his revenge.