Clone Club News Flash Fall 1987

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Album Out Nov. 1st
Would We Lie?

Why The Delay?

Ten Rumors

  1. Members of Some Band on strike for better pension plan.
  2. Record label wants duet with Sandi Patti.
  3. Steve borrows Graceland concept, travels to Iran for that "Mujadeen jive" sound.
  4. Dave Perkins forced to take time off to produce Pia Zadora.
  5. Master tapes destroyed by jealous Bigfoot.
  6. Steve pursues Ph.D. in cross-cultural studies at Bob Jones University.
  7. Lyrics accidentally shredded by the National Security Council.
  8. Song title "Since I Gave Up Hope, I Feel A Lot Better" won't fit on cassette.
  9. Steve has left music to become sumo wrestler.
  10. My dog ate it.

Album News - I Predict 1990

Press Release

By Nigel Hoggsworth
Unbiased Staff Correspondent

Two and a half years after the release of his last studio album On The Fritz, Steve Taylor and co-producer Dave Perkins are reportedly putting the finishing touches on the long-awaited I Predict 1990.

Recorded using Taylor's own Some Band and engineered by David Schober, the album is over a year in the making, with songs ranging from Taylor's trademark satire in "I Blew Up The Clinic Real Good" to the rousing passion that fuels "Jim Morrison's Grave" and the brooding "Svengali." Other titles include "A Principled Man," "What Is The Measure Of Your Success," and an honest-to-goodness ballad entitled "Harder To Believe Than Not To."

I Predict 1990 is scheduled for a November 1st release, and will be Taylor's debut release on Myrrh records. When asked to comment on Taylor's signing, label head Lynn Nichols replied, "He used a black Bic pen--one of those 39 cent ones, and had one of the nicest signatures I've ever seen."

Amended Press Release

By Derek Fink-Nottle
Even less-biased Staff Proofreader

I find Mr. Hoggsworth's article on Steve Taylor's I Predict 1990 to be reasonably accurate (although I would prefer the term "long-awaited" be reserved for true artistes like Tony Orlando).

A Note Of Thanks

By Steve Taylor
Former Sparrow Artist

I'd like to thank Sparrow Records for the extremely high degree of believe and commitment that they gave me during the five years we worked together. From the nine days we spent recording my debut mini-LP I Want To Be A Clone to the nine months we worked on the Limelight concert film, Sparrow has always been willing to experiment and to let me keep working until it's right. Never once did they try to get me to water-down the theme or content of a song. My special thanks to Billy Ray and Bill Hearn for the integrity they've maintained through the years as a business and as Christians.

Record Reviews

by Glen C. Holmen
Newsflash Music Critic and Some Band Bassist

The Iowa Carcasses -- Cereal Killer

These Iowa rockers have forged a debut record with all the things that are necessary for the success of a 1980's rock band from the heartland--three chords, that denim-with-denim-over-denim image, songs about chicks in cars, and biting farm policy commentary. Featuring lead singer Big Red and guitarist Joe Boy Hereford, The Carcasses take on tofu-loving commie trendoid hipsters with a vengeance.

The guys are rockin' from the first note of "That's The Way I Hated The Go-Gos," and strengthen the pace with "Perils of Grooming." Then they settle into a very danceable rendition of the R&B standard "Snack & Learn."

A great rock band needs a great rock beat, and bassist Larry "The Wall" Pozgank and drummer Johnny "The Drummer" DeVito keep it moving along with more notes per measure than any group in recent memory (except of course Iron Butterfly but I think they broke up). The rhythm work in "Gerbils on Diet Pills" can only be described as fast. As a rhythm guitarist, Joe Boy really works as a team player. As a soloist, his phrasing is incredibly noticeable--first a whisper, now a roar, now reminding me of my last trip to the dentist.

Look for strong radio play on the autobiographic "Bigger Hair," with that oh-so-infectious chorus hook:

Bigger hair / faster cars
we're Americans / yes we are

My next single pick would be either "Twinkies and Tomato Juice" or the pensive ballad "Bring The Bald One Out Now." And don't miss the sassy use of up to five (different) chords on "My Own Nametag."

This is the new group. Pick up the record, look for the videos, and don't miss their artistry on an upcoming TV episode of Hairstyles of the Rich and Fabulous.

Thoughtless Blunders

In the previous issue of Clone Club Newsflash, Eddie Munster (alluded to in the song "Drive, He Said") was mistakenly referred to as the son of Fred Munster. He is, in fact, the son of Herman Munster, played on television by character actor Fred Gwynne. The Newsflash deeply regrets the mistake and any emotional trauma this error may have cause the Munster family.

[Photo and caption: It's a land of shady kangaroos and playful gum trees. It's a land of Shrimps Dundee and crocodiles on the barbie. It's Australia, where everything seems reversed in the land of "Under Down." Steve Taylor & Some Band travelled to the Land of Oz for a glorious week in May. Highlights included their enthusiastic reception at Sydney's Hordern Pavilion, a chance to discuss the finer points of ministry and art with a group of Australian musicians, and an afternoon spent posing with 35mm wallabies for cuddly photos like this one.]

Title Fight

In the following multiple-choice examination, pick the song title in each instance that you feel is most likely to show up on Steve's new album.

1. A funny song on Steve's new record is called:

  1. "I Blew Up The Clinic Real Good"
  2. "I Processed The Data Real Professional-Like"
  3. "Velma Was A Cheese Hostess"

2. The song on the album with the longest title is:

  1. "Since I Gave Up Hope, I Feel A Lot Better"
  2. "Since I Gave Up Caffeine, I Have Fewer Headaches"
  3. "The Good, The Bad, And The Cheese Hostess"

3. Another funny song on Steve's new record is called:

  1. "Jung And The Restless"
  2. "Freud And The Lethargic"
  3. "Everything You Wanted To Know About Cheese, But Were Afraid To Ask Your Hostess"

Want to know how well you did? I guess you'll have to buy the new record, won't you?

Paid Advertisement - The Clone Club

A membership in the Clone Club entitles you to the following amenities:

The Clone Club is an exclusive, members only, multinational organization. If you must inquire as to what a membership costs, you probably can't afford one. However, since The Clone Club is a charter member of the TCCCFA (The Clone Club Council for Financial Accountability), we are required to disclose the following information:

Where does your $1 per year membership fee go?

30¢ - 1st newsletter
30¢ - 2nd newsletter
20¢ - Steve has wife & Honda
10¢ - Hard Profit
10¢ - Acquisitions and mergers

Can You Draw Steve? Contest Winners

The final winners of the Last Colouring Contest ("Can you draw Steve?") and the Designer Jacket Contest have been selected by our panel of critics:

Rachel Burns, age 5
Hickson, Tennessee

Sara Murchison, age 9
Weiser, Idaho

Peter Kim, age 17
Glenview, Illinois

Tom Hatch, age 18
Middleboro, Massachusetts

David Beauley, age 20
Middleboro, New Hampshire

Herb Summers, age 37
Miami, Florida

Pete Corbett, age unknown
Torrance, California

David Campbell, doesn't age
Waynesboro, Virginia

Julie Squire, age 19
Sydney, Australia

Designer Jacket winners received a Limited Edition Designer Jacket and a box of crayons. Last Colouring Contest winners received a copy of Videoworks, a Candygram, and a $5.00 scholarship to the art school of their choice.

Did I Miss Something?

If you thought "published bi-annually" meant once every two years, then read no further. However, for those of you who thought you may have missed an issue, I must confess that the Newsflash scheduled to come out in summer of 1986 has been postponed until now due to the new album delays.

How can I ever make it up to you, the steadfast and patient Clone Club loyalists? Many ideas have been suggested to me as possible compensations. I personally ruled out the donation of internal organs as being too impractical. A 50 cent rebate was mentioned, but I already spent the money on gum. So how about this? Every Clone Club member will get an extra issue of the Newsflash, absolutely free! And with that free issue comes my pledge: If the Newsflash is every published late again, no one will feel worse than I. You have my word on it.

Your friend,